How dare I?

How dare I complain about anything in my life? Shame on me. Yes, I've had some hardships but I'm blessed beyond measure and have a house. I realized this while talking with a friend who's family has been going through some stuff. We started talking about priorities and I made mention of the Philippines and then it hit me like a brick wall. I complain all the time about things in my life but they have nothing and are far more joyful than I. That's just sad.

As I sit here realizing this, it makes me ponder; am I working towards the wrong goal? To make an album would be great, but why am I wanting to do it; to help others or to help myself? Is it to glorify my Father or is it for vainglory? Sadly, I don't know anymore.

Most people don't know; I'm a daydreamer. I think about any and every scenario for every situation that arises, whether it pans out or not. I think this has been a danger to me. Always focusing on what will happen with my future but not realizing that I'm not working towards the goal; to show Christ's love.

I wish I could say that I was, but I realized, I'm not. I think it's time to break out "Crazy Love" again and read it from cover to cover. I can feel I need it. I actually started up my devotions today for the first time in months. I'm not bragging, I'm saying this for accountability. I need to get involved in a way to help others at all times. THIS brings me true joy. I've never been happier than when I was working towards the goal and I remember it vividly. It was in the Philippines that I experienced this and miss this. I realize that I can fulfill this anywhere, but where do I start? I need some guidance, God.

Seek TRUTH.