God, strip away my selfishness and cloth me in humility and righteousness. I pray I seek You over everything else in this world and that I would glorify You.

How dare I?

How dare I complain about anything in my life? Shame on me. Yes, I've had some hardships but I'm blessed beyond measure and have a house. I realized this while talking with a friend who's family has been going through some stuff. We started talking about priorities and I made mention of the Philippines and then it hit me like a brick wall. I complain all the time about things in my life but they have nothing and are far more joyful than I. That's just sad.

As I sit here realizing this, it makes me ponder; am I working towards the wrong goal? To make an album would be great, but why am I wanting to do it; to help others or to help myself? Is it to glorify my Father or is it for vainglory? Sadly, I don't know anymore.

Most people don't know; I'm a daydreamer. I think about any and every scenario for every situation that arises, whether it pans out or not. I think this has been a danger to me. Always focusing on what will happen with my future but not realizing that I'm not working towards the goal; to show Christ's love.

I wish I could say that I was, but I realized, I'm not. I think it's time to break out "Crazy Love" again and read it from cover to cover. I can feel I need it. I actually started up my devotions today for the first time in months. I'm not bragging, I'm saying this for accountability. I need to get involved in a way to help others at all times. THIS brings me true joy. I've never been happier than when I was working towards the goal and I remember it vividly. It was in the Philippines that I experienced this and miss this. I realize that I can fulfill this anywhere, but where do I start? I need some guidance, God.

Seek TRUTH.

I'm ready, I'm ready!

I don't want to be here anymore. I really want to be in Springfield, working towards the goal, but alas, it hasn't happened yet. I have been patient and I'm so tired of waiting for it to happen. I'm ready to go and get this show on the road. I've been waiting for years and it's almost within my grasp but not quite. Darn my impatience.